Rest in Peace Chloe

Yesterday morning we took Chloe to the vet to see if it was time to put her down. The vet examined her and asked us a lot of questions about her behavior. She concluded that her kidneys were failing, she was severely dehydrated and had lost all muscle mass. She said there was little we could do to try to help her, if we tried to inject fluids, there was no muscle mass to absorb them. Even though she's been eating and drinking a lot, she wasn't getting any nutrition or hydration, everything went right through her. She was evidently always very hungry and thirsty but never feeling satisfied no matter how much she ate or drank. I felt horrible when I found that out. We had not thought of her suffering in that way and when the vet explained it to us, we knew it was time for us to let her go. The vet put a catheter into her leg and brought her back in to us wrapped in a blanket. I held her while the vet administered the medication through the catheter. It only took a few seconds and she was gone, quickly and peacefully. It was really one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I didn't know how hard it would be. I'm glad we were there with her at the end but I cry every time I think about it. I cried a lot yesterday. And still today, everywhere I look, something reminds me of her and makes me emotional. 15 years is a long time to have a pet with you everyday so it's going to take awhile to get used to not having her here. Chloe was the first cat I've ever owned and it's due to her that I love cats so much now. She was also the first real pet my kids ever had. This is hitting Joshua particularly hard, he wasn't ready to let her go. Jeremy's sad too, but understands and wants to have a picture of her framed to keep on his wall. The vet gave us a little clay disc with her paw prints on it. I baked it so it would be hard and I'm going to frame it with her picture and tag.

I'm glad we still have Milo and Daphne. They're becoming good friends and they play together a lot now. They're keeping Don and I entertained and are good company, but they can't replace Chloe.

Rest in peace, Chloe, we love you.

A Wonderful Christmas

We had a really nice Christmas. It's been different since Joshua and Jeremy left home - Christmas morning is much more laid-back and quiet, but it's still very nice for Don and I to celebrate together. The kids came over late afternoon and stayed several hours. We had a turkey dinner and Lily really appreciated my Raspberry and Lemon parfait salad. It's so nice to have another woman in the family to share and appreciate the things I like.

Don and I got a laptop for each other and I also bought him some small tools and peanuts (of course). He gave me 2 bottles of perfume (really good stuff), my traditional Christmas book (this year a beautiful pop-up for my pop-up book collection), some slippers and macadamia nut clusters. Joshua and Lily got me a wireless mouse for the laptop and Don some nuts and a book on Aviation. I was so excited to give Joshua and Lily the camera we'd gotten them, but they didn't seem very surprised when they opened it. I found out Jeremy had accidentally told them they were getting it. Joshua had said to him, "you know what Mom and Dad are getting me, don't you?" Jeremy, thinking that Joshua somehow already knew said, "yeah, a camera, right?" Then he realized that Joshua hadn't known and felt horrible. Anyway, they were really happy with it, so I guess it's fine but I wish it would have been a surprise.

I'm sorry Christmas is over only because I really don't want to take down the Christmas decorations yet. I love having the house decorated and I'm not ready to take everything down. I made new stockings this year for Joshua, Jeremy and Lily. Don and I had matching stockings and I really liked them but the ones we had for Joshua and Jeremy were completely different and we didn't have a stocking for Lily yet. So I bought fabric that coordinated with Don and my stockings and copied the pattern so now all our stockings go together and go with the Woodland theme of our family room.

A week ago I hosted a Christmas ornament/decoration exchange and luncheon here for a group of friends. We also had a "most outrageous Christmas attire" contest. It was so much fun - it's been a tradition here for years and there was no one to host it this year so I volunteered. I look forward to it every year.

I found out this morning that a sister in our ward passed away last night. She was 103 years old so it wasn't unexpected but her son is having a very hard time, he was very devoted to her and took wonderful care of her over the years. I'm very involved in helping with the funeral plans being Relief Society President so I've been making a lot of calls trying to coordinate everything. Difficult timing with Christmas and New Year's and the Bishop and one counselor being out of town but it will all work out.

I have an appointment Monday to take Chloe in to the vet to see if it's time to have her put down. I'm really dreading making the decision. It's a very difficult one, and I'm really hoping the vet can give us good advice about it. In some ways, she's really deteriorated, but in other ways, she seems OK, so it's hard to know. We love her and I don't want to lose her but I hate watching her go downhill and I worry that she's suffering in some way we can't tell. She's not making it to the litter box anymore, she's skin and bones, she's losing some of her hair and drooling a lot and she'll just come up to me sometimes and meow at me like she's trying to tell me something important but I don't know what - it sounds sad, though. Things that used to bother her, she's now oblivious to (like the vacuum cleaner and garage door opener). She still gets around OK, though and eats well (too well, really - she begs for food constantly).

Hoping for a great new year for all of our family and friends.